Super Secret Gift Exchange
by OnlyANorthernSong
Summary: It's winter time! And Flash has an idea.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, my darling readers! I shall name you all Debbie. Unless your name is Debbie, in which case your name is now Slagathore. Have fun with your new names! And Happy Christmas!

P.S- I'm not really thinking right now, and that's why I didn't proofread this. Just wanted it up. I'll look it over, and make sure I didn't make any mistakes later. Promise! Swear on my future grave!

Secret Gift Exchange

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"I've got it!" Flash shouted, leaping to his feet. Diana looked at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"Flash?"

"I know what we can do for fun around here!" The Scarlett Speedster insisted.

"We're not supposed to be having fun around here," John told him wearily from his seat in front of the monitors. Flash shrugged.

"It wouldn't hurt if we did."

"It might," Hawkgirl said with a smirk, glancing at him over an alien magazine. Flash stuck his tongue out at her, and collapsed back into his chair.

"Fine. Let's ignore the Flash, fastest genius alive, and his super-amazing ideas."

"Sounds great," Hawkgirl agreed, returning to her magazine. He continued to pout, then poked his head up.

"Sure you don't want to know? I might be willing to tell you."

"We're sure." Hawkgirl muttered, but Diana, smiling sweetly at him, said,

"What's your idea, Flash?"

"Secret Santa!" Flash said, grinning now that Wonder Woman was feigning interest.

"Secret...Santa?" Diana echoed, confused. Flash nodded excitedly.

"We're doing it in my school." He said happily. "You pick a name out of a hat, or something, in our case, an _alien _hat, then you buy a present for whoever you pick, and you have to guess who you pick!" Hawkgirl snorted.

"That's dumb."

"What? Do aliens not wear hats?" Flash replied, grinning as she shot him an annoyed look.

"What if we don't have money, Fastest Genius Alive?" He shrugged.

"It's the thought that counts, dumb-dumb. You make a present."

"Wait-" John began, looking confused. "Did you say you were doing it in your school? Are you in third grade, or something?" Flash rolled his eyes behind his mask.

"Har-har, John, you're a riot." John shrugged, still looking puzzled.

"What's a Santa?" Diana asked, suspicious. She had been told about Satan, an equivalent to Hades, and this 'Santa' creature seemed quite similar.

"He's this guy that dresses all in red, and he uses magic to get into your house and then leaves you stuff!" Flash informed her, buzzing with excitement. Diana smiled at him, shaking her head.

"Flash- you're confused." She said with a sigh. "This 'Santa' must steal your things, not give. Who would break and enter a home merely to leave things? I don't understand why a thief is revered in such a way as a 'Secret Santa', though..."

"No, Diana, Santa only breaks into your house to give you free stuff," John informed her importantly, beaming. Flash nodded.

_"Superman to Watchtower,"_ Said a crackling voice. _"I am nearing the watchtower."_

"Hey, Supes! What say you to Secret Santa?"

_"I love Secr-" _He began enthusiastically, before a lot of static. Then, the cool, even voice of Batman stated,

_"No."_

"Aw! Bats! Don't be a spoilsport! It'll be fun!" Diana decided to ask Batman, the only sane member of the group, about her doubts.

"Is Santa Satan?" She asked. There was a pause, as John stared at her, Flash was fighting a laugh, and Hawkgirl stood, and said,

"I'm out.", before leaving the room.

_"....What?" _

"He dresses in red," Diana insisted, hoping she wasn't making a fool out of herself, but still. It was a reasonable question, wasn't it? "He breaks into people's houses. His name is _Santa_, for Hara's sake."

_"Diana...Santa isn't real." _Something that sounded like a scream of pain and denial reached everyone's ears, followed abruptly by Superman, saying,

_"If you don't believe, he won't bring you presents! That's why you're so grumpy! You're giftless at Christmas! You only get coal!" _Followed by,

_"Cl- Superman. There. Is. No. Santa. You live in the North Pole- haven't you ever noticed there aren't any elves scurrying around, carrying candy canes?!"_

_"Your lack of belief won't sway me! Besides- I only go to the fortress of solitude for solitude!"_

_"You work with The Flash!" _Flash suddenly turned pink.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

_"People need solitude when they work with you," _Batman replied, matter-of-factly.

"Oh! I see how it is!" Flash shouted. "You don't think Christmas is a magical time of year because you don't believe in Santa, so you take it out on the jolly genius, huh?"

_"...Jolly genius?" _

"But, Bats! If we do Secret Santa, it'll be one of us! And we _do _exist."

_"I'm aware of your existence, Flash. You've made me painfully aware of your existence, Flash." _

"Just- say you'll do it. Come on! How often do you do luxurious stuff, huh? If I pick you, I might just get you fancy stuff! Like wine, or soap, or fish eggs!"

"Wine, soap, and fish eggs. That's what you think the rich survive on?" John asked with a smirk. "Well, if I ever need to know your secret identity, I can cross off all the billionaires in Central."

"For your information, GL, soap, wine, and fish eggs are all amazing luxurious things!"

"I'm sure." Flash pouted, crossing his arms.

"We're aboard!" Superman shouted, coming in from the hallway, followed by a grumpy Mr. Scrooge- er- Batman. Flash rushed up to them.

"Awesome! Do you have an alien hat?" Superman looked at Flash with a mixture of embarrassment and plain confusion.

"Um...no?"

"Darn!" Flash said, snapping his fingers in mock anger. "Where's J'onn?"

"In his room," Diana replied. "Meditating." Flash nodded, recalling the last time he had pulled the martian from a meditation session. He shivered with horror.

"Okaaay. Hawkgirl?"

"Right here." Came a tired voice from the hallway. "I saw that Superman and Batman were back." She sat in the seat she had occupied, casting a curious and wistful eye upon the magazine. "So...any danger?"

"None except the jolly genius." Batman muttered.

"Come on, Bats!" Flash begged, ignoring Hawkgirl's comment of, 'You heard about that, too?'. "Secret Santa! If I pick you, I'll buy you whatever you want! I promise! I swear on my future grave!" Batman looked at him grimly.

"How depressing."

"Come on. I have to be depressing once every year, and Christmas is an awesome time to do it, huh? According to Futurama, Suicide Booths are popular these days." Batman quirked an eyebrow.

"You know there are no such things as Suicide Booths."

"Not on this planet." Hawkgirl muttered from behind her magazine.

"So....Secret Santa?" Flash asked, hope shining in his eyes.

"What if one of us is Jewish?" John asked. "We never really discuss this kind of thing."

"So...Secret Gift-Giver?" Superman offered.

"It's not as catchy..." Flash whined.

"Gecret Gift-Giver?" Diana asked, trying to redeem her 'is Santa Satan' question. It didn't work out well.

"Gecret?" Flash asked, a smirk on his face.

"It means a hidden shadow in Greek!" She said quickly, flushing.

"Does not!" Flash replied. She put a hand on her hip, glaring at him.

"It does in ancient Greek."

"You don't speak Greek on your island- when we went, everyone spoke fluent English!" She glared at him.

"We learned it as a second language."

"Y-"

"Flash. Diana. Shut up." Hawkgirl commanded, wishing she could reach her temples through the mask so she could rub them. "We will call it a secret gift exchange. It's not catchy. It's not biased. We buy gifts, we give gifts. We give Hawkgirl another headache, we get flown up in the air and dropped," She glared at Flash. "Or we have to prove we speak Greek." She glared at Diana, whose shifty eyes found the floor. "Everyone-" She glared at Batman. "-will be involved. Got it?"

"Got it." The other superheros grumbled bitterly, with the exception of John and Superman, neither of whom had been threatened or yelled at. They beamed as they said it.

"I _do _speak Greek," Diana mumbled.

"Yea, yea, whatever you say, princess."

------------------=-=-=-=====================================

Yep. That was the end. But the question is this: should this be a oneshot (ending here), or should it have chapters (which means I probably won't concentrate much on my other stories)

If you're in favor of chapters, who should pick who from the _**ALIEN**_ hat? If you're in favor of this staying as a oneshot, you should bring in the dancing lobsters!

Peace out!


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, sorry for the wait, peoples. I wasn't sure whether I'd add another chapter. I'm REALLY SORRY!

Don't own JL

* * *

"I've got it!" Flash shouted, leaping to his feet. Diana looked at him, quirking an eyebrow. "What we can use for the Alien Hat, since Hawkgirl won't take off her mask, Supes doesn't have one, and J'onn is _still _meditating, and don't think he'd have one anyways..." John smirked.

"So, what will we use?"

"A box!"

"Um- okay- what box? We don't really have any up here."

"That's true- what's up with that?" Flash shook his head to fight away the conversation, then said, "Anyways, I have a box in my room."

"Why?" Diana asked.

"Huh?"

"Why do you have a box in your room?"

"I keep books, and comics, and magazines in it."

"Magazines-" John raised his eyebrows and smiled before continuing. "-and comics I'll believe, but books? What do you read, seriously?"

"For your information, I am a reader of literature too advanced for your teeny-weeny brain." Flash stated in false pretentiousness.

"That a fact?"

"Yes. Anyways, we're getting off track. Gimme a sec." Within a second (he wasn't joking), Flash had returned carrying a large cardboard box. "Okay. We need to put the names in here."

"What's up?" Superman asked, walking into the room and eying the box. "What's that?"

"The stand-in for the Alien Hat," Flash replied, grinning. "We'll stick the names in here, and pick. Actually, we really oughta stick lead around it, or something..."

"Why?!" Superman grunted, crossing his arms, and pouting.

"Well- you might cheat."

"How would I cheat?!" Superman demanded.

"I don't know." Flash admitted. "But you're, like, amazing. You'd figure out a way." Teetering between insulted and complimented, Superman didn't respond.

"What did I say about 'alien hats'?" Came an angry voice.

"..You said, 'No...no alien hats," Flash replied with a shrug, looking slightly confused. "So? This is the _stand-in_ for an alien hat. Besides, you heard Hawkgirl. She'll, like, kill you or something if you don't join in."

"If I remember correctly, she threatened _you _to death, not me." Flash shrugged.

"Potato, Tomato."

"That's not how the saying goes."

"You're not how the saying goes!"

"That doesn't make sense!"

"You don't make sense!" Batman affixed him with a powerful glare, until Flash smiled weakly. "....anyways, we just need to put in the names and we can draw. So...um..." He zipped out of the room, then came back with several pieces of paper. He scribbled names on each, then stuffed them into the box, grinning proudly. "John- you go get Hawkgirl. Bats-" He paused, gulped, then continued, "Supes- you go get J'onn...I don't really want to mess with him when he's in psycho meditation mode. And Bats, Di and me will hang out here and guard the box until you're back." Superman nodded, and was gone in a flash. John watched him leave, then stood.

"Okay. I'll be back in a second."

"You wish, slow-poke." Flash replied, sticking out his tongue playfully. John, rolling his eyes, continued down the hallway.

"This is stupid." Batman grumbled. Diana smirked at him.

"Afraid of who you might draw?" Flash asked teasingly. Batman glared at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Uh- " Flash, deciding he wanted to live, said, "Duh! Me! What do you know about me?"

"Do you really want to know?" Batman replied.

"...." Flash decided he needed to look at something....over...there...away from the scary man. Diana smiled.

"Aw...you scared him away, Bruce." She murmured as Flash went into another room. Batman scoffed.

"I wish. He'll be back in a minute."

"Why are you so hard on him?"

"Besides the fact that he never pays attention, treats everything like a joke, is a moron, is a joker- not the killer, the _bad _kind- thinks red is better then black, and acts as if I couldn't rip him to shreds?" Diana smirked.

"Sure."

"..."

"You used up all your reasons, didn't you?"

"No. Hey, look! Green Lantern is back." Diana, rolling her eyes, turned to the Man of Green and Hawkgirl. She felt her cheeks redden. Hawkgirl said something strange,

"Γειά," And Diana raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I said, 'Hello', in Greek." Diana blushed some more.

"I can speak Greek. It was just your accent."

"Uh-huh." Hawkgirl looked around the room. "Where's Flash?" Flash peeked around the corner, then grinned.

"Right here!" He said proudly. "I was just scouting out the area. For...um...evil-doers." Diana smirked at him, as Bruce hid his own smile. Flash saw the smiles, and his cheeks grew red as he stated, "Lets just get this shindig started! Where's Supes and the J'onnster?"

"J'onnster?" Echoed a new voice, as Superman and the martian entered the room. Flash shrugged.

"You look like a J'onnster." J'onn paused.

"...Thank you?"

"You're welcome! Now. Who wants to draw first?" No one volunteered. Flash scowled. "You all are a bunch of babies."

"First of all- if I were you- I wouldn't be calling senior superheros with powerful abilities and mental capacities, who have the power to both overcome and/or kill you, 'babies.'" Batman growled. Flash seemed torn between terrified, and struck with amusement. "Second of all: if you're so brave...."

"...Why don't you pick first?" Diana continued easily.

"M-me?" Flash stammered. "I'm gonna go last."

"And why is that?" Batman asked coldly.

"Because I'm bad with decisions, and my hand would be in that box for an hour if there was more then one slip left in there."

"Just pick one," John muttered irritably.

"Yes," Diana insisted.

"Stop being a baby," Hawkgirl added. Flash blushed.

"Flash. Just pick, huh?" Flash blushed even more as Superman said this. Superman had been his IDOL his entire life (well, most of it- ever since he had first heard about the tight-wearing hero), and to be teased by HIM was...just...bad. Batman, being the annoying super-detective he was, noticed, and whispered something under his breath that Superman would hear, but Flash couldn't. Then the Man of Steel spoke again... "Flash. You're not...scared...are you?"

"No!" Flash squeaked, before stabbing his hand into the box, grasping a random slip, and rushing over to the corner to read it. He nodded to himself. "This won't be hard," He muttered sarcastically.

"Who's next?" Superman asked.

"I'll pick," Hawkgirl announced. She then picked a piece of paper from the box. She scanned it, and nodded, smiling wickedly. Diana stepped forward next, and pulled out a piece of paper. She read it slowly.

"..." Superman was next. He pulled out the paper, and read it. He smirked. Then John pulled out the third to last piece of paper. He read it, and grinned. J'onn, smiling, took the next slip, until only one was left for the Dark Knight. Diana nudged him, and he grunted, before reluctantly pulling a sheet from the box. He scowled as he read it.

"Who's stupid idea was this again?" Flash grinned proudly.

"I think it'll be fun," Hawkgirl said with a smile, and Superman nodded, grinning.

"No doubt," He agreed.

"Now we just have to buy presents." Flash stated, looking down at the slip in his hands again. "This'll be AWESOME!" Batman rolled his eyes. _Sure_.

-----

Okay. I'll show who got who at the begining of the next chapter. Sorry I haven't updated lately- I haven't had much time to write, and I didn't know whether I wanted this to be a omeshot or a multi-chapter stuff! BTW: I didn't have time to edit this because people take internet alot.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, I finally updated. Consider it a belated Christmas present. Happy New Year, and Happy Christmas.

* * *

Chapter 3: Finally, An Update. Amazingly Superb.

* * *

"I've got it!" Wally West shouted as he walked through Publix. It had been three hours since he had left to get a present for who he had picked, and he had gone through thirty different stores. None of which had products that seemed right. He rushed forward to what he had seen, but saw it wasn't good enough. He sighed.

"Why'd I suggest this stupid, unfun, idiotic, lame- Ooh!" He ran towards another item, and bit his lip as he wondered whether a Batman action figure would be appropriate for her. "Well...either way," He grabbed the doll- _action figure _-and trounced towards the pay line for items less than ten. The line included a little old lady who couldn't find her change purse (Hadn't Wally walked her across the street once as Flash?), a little girl who was pouting because her mother wouldn't get her a Hannah Montana skirt that barely made it past her hips, a guilty-looking group of 'adults' who had a pack of beer, and IDs ready in their hands, and two people that were making out (Wally didn't know whether they were a part of the line. However, when he tried to slip past them, both kissers held up an item- without looking away). So, Wally was forced to wait at the end of the line from hell.

The little old lady insisted she pay with exact change, and took five minutes to find a nickle.

The little girl screamed when her mother got to the cashier, shouting that she wanted the skirt. The tantrum lasted for another seven minutes, and ended in tears. The mother got the skirt after three more minutes of arguing with her daughter, and, two minutes later, the duo of disaster were finished, and had left.

The group of alcohol-ready 'adults' showed their IDs, only to have the cashier know them, and report them. Five minutes later, they were getting yelled at by the store manager, and she wanted to know where they got the counterfeit IDs. They were then brought to her office, each looking as nervous as the next.

Next, the kissers- they discovered they had no cash between them, but asked if they could pay the cashier back later. When the cashier said 'no', they complained to him for three minutes before they left.

25 minutes after he had gotten to the line, a very annoyed Wallace Rudolph West gave the ONE item to the cashier, and had it paid for in less than a minute.

"Thanks for shopping at Publix." The guy muttered. Wally rolled his eyes, and went outside with his prize. He decided to 'walk' back to his apartment now, and decide there whether a Batman action figure would be appropriate as the first Christmas present someone has ever received. He shrugged. Oh, well. If Diana didn't like it, she couldn't say so because she was so polite. Of course...BATMAN....he might have a thing or two to say. Not that Flash was scared. Wally eyed the Batman action figure and sighed heavily,

"What else can I get her?"

--=-=-=-=-=-=-

"What can I give him?" Diana pondered unhappily, sipping her coffee delicately, "That will be both appropriate, and affectionate?"

"Who did you get?" Hawkgirl asked, seated across from her. Diana scowled at her, and Hawkgirl laughed. "I won't tell anyone- don't worry." Diana nodded, and bowed her head.

"Superman."

"Oh." Hawkgirl paused. "That _is _hard, princess. I'm glad I didn't get him."

"Who _did _you get?"

"A girl never picks and tells!" Diana felt as if she were going to explode, but Hawkgirl laughed, and said, "Don't worry, Princess. I was kidding." Diana nodded, though she still wished she could land a solid punch on that- "Batman." The anger faltered.

"Batman?"

"Yep."

"THE Batman?"

"Yep."

"What in Hara's name are you going to get him?!"

"I don't know..." Hawkgirl replied with a shrug. "I was thinking a bound-up Flash." Diana's jaw dropped. "Kidding, Di."

"Oh." Red dyed Diana's cheeks, and Hawkgirl smiled wistfully.

"Although...whoever has me...THAT'D be a good gift."

"What? Why?!"

"What do you mean? He wouldn't be zipping around, tickling me with my own feathers." The winged woman muttered distastefully, though there was still a smirk on her face. Diana sighed.

"You're weird."

"Yea, well, you can't speak the language that is supposedly the language of your nation. Where you've lived for how many years? " Diana slumped.

"I CAN speak Greek." She pouted.

000----

"I can't think of anything!" Clark groaned. He glared at the mirror. "I command you to think of an amazing idea!" He commanded his defiant reflection. He wondered if another winter sweater would be good. Cake? No. Bruce said if he made another cake, he would arrest him for endangering the lives of hungry citizens. Drawing? No. Even his kindergarten teacher said he sucked at that. Hug? No. J'onn had been saving the world for over a thousand years by keeping the white martians under control. A hug seemed a little anticlimactic.

"Google!" He suddenly shouted, then typed 'What Martians Want' into the search database.

The first said that martians wanted PHds.

The second one said that Martians wanted Bush impeached.

The third said that if Martians wanted to invaded, now was the perfect time.

The fourth said that Martians landed in Ancient Egypt.

The fifth said that Democrats wanted to give the Earth to Martians.

The sixth said that Martians want Akhmedi-the baboon-nejad to solve problems in the solar system.

The seventh said that what Martians want, Martians get.

The eighth said that Martians wanted to be respected.

The ninth was just something for 'My Favorite Martian'.

The tenth said...Santa Claus conquers Martians?

"Google was a bad idea." Superman grumbled, deciding to return to original ideas.

0=-=0=0=0--0==0=--

J'onn easily purchased the gift with money he had won in a game of poker (it's not REALLY cheating. If no one asks if you're a martian, why should you tell them?) Buying presents was easy when you could look inside a person's mind, and ascertain easily what they wanted. He wondered what would have happened if he had chosen Hawkgirl, whose mind he could not read. What would he have gotten her, he wondered? Of course, the gift he had gotten for the Green Lantern was more a metaphor...a joke, in a way. He smiled at the Hawkgirl doll. It wasn't exactly what the ex-marine had wanted, but it showed that he could get what he wanted if he truly fought. And, since J'onn knew that who John wished for wished for John back (despite the lack of mind-probing in this area) perhaps this extra shove in the correct direction would allow the Green Lantern to...well...admit to the feelings he fought. J'onn smiled proudly, wondering what time the gift-exchanging ritual would occur.

=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-

"I hate Christmas." Bruce grumbled, staring at his computer monitor. Ever since he had picked the annoying speedster's name from the hat, this mantra had been pounding in his head. Superman- he could handle. J'onn? Cake. Even Diana (with all the complications she would present) would have been easier to pick for. Because now, Bruce had to be careful. He didn't want to instill the wrong idea into Flash's head. Flash might think he wanted him as a friend. Or, worse- he'd use the gifts on the job. For instance, if he got him an iPod, then the hero would blast it loudly- and it would probably be horrible music, too. If he got him clothes, he would wear them over his costume just to annoy Batman. All the while saying... _Aw, Bats! This is so cool! I can't wait till next year. WE CAN DO THIS AGAIN! _

"I know what I'll do!" Batman said with sudden excitement. "I'll ruin his Christmas, that's just what I'll do! I'll buy him the worst present- like an old stinky shoe! His spirit will sink, as he smells the bad stink- And he'll regret this idea from the start! But how to crush his soaring heart?" Bruce shook his head to remove the awful rhyming he had gotten into. "I sound like a lousy version of the Grinch," He muttered distastefully. But this was perfect. If he got Flash a terrible gift, the young hero wouldn't suggest the Secret Santa thing next year, and Bruce would be saved from the agonizing torture...of shopping for colleagues. "Google time!" He said with an awful grin.

-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Hi, sir?" John smiled politely at the man that turned. "I don't really know what to get someone for Christmas." The man grinned.

"Oh! Let. Me. Guess! It's a girl, you have no idea what to get her, because you love her, but there are complications, like work, and friends, and it feels wrong, but, Oh. So. Right!? Right?" He spoke so fast, John could barely comprehend, and by the time his mind caught up, the man was talking again... "And she's sooo beautiful, and you really like her, but you don't know if she feels the same way about you, and it's soo awkward, and it might get more awkward if your present has any sort of romanticism in it, but if there isn't, it might kill any thought in her that you like her, and if she likes you, then that's teeeribble! O. M. G! I Looooove love at this time of year!"

"Umm..." John rubbed a hand through his short hair, still lost. "Mind, you know, cutting it down?"

"Sure! You like a girl, and have no idea what to get her 'cause love is soooo confusing."

"Um. I think that sounds right. So, what do you have in mind?"

"Lingerie!" The man replied with a grin.

"Um. Thanks. Bye." John left. Next up? Wal-mart. He wondered if everyone else was having better luck...

-----------==-=-==-=-=-=-=

Well, this was short, and it took forever to get up. Sorry about that. Here is who got who (just to clear it up)

J'onn-GL

Supes-J'onn

Flash-Di

Bats-Flash

Di-Supes

Shay- Bats

GL-Shay

They'll exchange their gifts for the first day in the next chapter. I'm super sorry about the super long wait. It'll probably be next Christmas before this story is over...

JUST IN TIME! YAY!

Anyway, if you were wondering what all those weird Martian Links were, look up 'what martians want' in Google. I didn't make that stuff up...you just can't make that kinda stuff up...

So close to 2000 words- I'm gonna write a little more just to reach that little goal, now. Okay...so...what's up? Cardinals VS Steelers, huh?

...

Pretty nifty...

I was actually going for the Eagles, myself...

Pretty cold out, huh?

Nine more words, huh? So...how was your day? Reply in the reviews!

With this sentence: (number included) 2013!


	4. Chapter 4

I have to admit, once I got started, I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I would've uploaded sooner, but I had problems with what to give the Big Blue.

* * *

"I've got it!" Flash shouted, as he dragged a large box into the room. "No prob." The box was filled to the brim with gifts. Large gifts, small gifts, red gifts, odd gifts. "Okay..." He picked up a small, soft, green package, and read the tag. "John!" The Green Lantern walked over, and took the present gingerly. He shook it by his ear, shrugged, then walked back to the rest of the crowd. Superman was visibly beaming, excitedly peeking over the present box's rim as he hovered a few inches off the ground. "Next up..."

"Me...me..." Superman could be heard whispering. The Fastest Man Alive picked up a large blue package...

"Di!" Diana nervously scuffled over to the box, and took the present.

"Me next, me next!" Superman whispered, crossing his fingers. Flash pulled out a small black present.

"Batsy!" Batman glared. "Bats!" Still glaring. "Bat!"

"..."

"The Dark Knight! Guano! B.B! Count Batula! Big-Eared Chihuahua! The Flying Rodent! The Big B! The Batinator! The Batster! The Batoroni! The Bats-ta-tats! The Busy B! The Might-"

"BRUCE, GO GET YOUR &*$%?! GIFT SO HE CAN MOVE ON!" Superman shrieked. He was shaking. Batman swept up, grabbed the small box, then was back in the crowd, looking annoyed. Superman smiled timidly. "Thanks!"

"Bruce, huh?" Flash pondered. "The Brucie. The Bru-"

"Shut up," Hawkgirl snapped. "Or my mace-"

"Moving on!" Flash said cheerily. "It's seems we have Little Ms. Sunshine here- Hawkgirl, you're up!" Hawkgirl snatched the yellow present, then stood angrily in the crowd once more. "Next up is for yours truly," He placed a huge red present on the floor beside him, before digging once again into the remaining gifts. "Okay. J'onn?" The martian walked calmly forward, and retrieved the gift. Superman was grinning. "Oops- Supes, I think yours is lost..."

"What!?" His eyes were red.

"Kidding!" Flash quickly amended, holding out the large red box with a squeak. Superman smiled, pleased.

"Yay!" He said, a rather unsuperman-ish thing to say. Of course, he had been acting unsuperman-ish all day.

"Okay. Now, we can unwrap our presents, and wonder who we got. Next presents are due in two days."

"What if there's a danger?" Hawkgirl asked, rolling her eyes beneath her mask.

"Then danger will have to wait." Flash replied stubbornly. "Now, let's hurry up and open the presents!"

-=-=-=--=-=-=

Flash ran to his room, and ripped the paper off of the huge box. Then he clawed his way through the cardboard. His face fell.

Inside was one pair of gray socks. Drab socks that were too small for his feet. He searched for the note in the red paper-

_I hope you have fun with your presents._

Not even a signature.

"I got Bats..." He realized slowly. He frowned. "Shoot."

-=-=-=

Diana walked back to her room, and placed the box on her bed. She slowly dissected the paper, then read the note that was taped on the top of the box-

_Hello. You don't know who I am. Your curiosity will grow._

_-Your Secret Admirer. Whoops. I meant Secret Gift Giver._

_P.S I hope to see you enjoying your gift. Only three other people on the team have it!_

She opened the box, to see a soft blue material inside it. She pulled it out, and smirked. A cape.

It had to be Flash.

=-0-=

Hawkgirl walked into her room, and threw the present onto a chair. Then she took a shower. As she was drying her hair, she spotted the gift.

"Do I actually care enough?" She asked the empty room, before putting the hair dryer on the counter, tightening the towel (just below the wings), and walking over to the gift. The note was simple.

_I hope this gift helps you acclimate to life here on Earth. I know it can be hard._

_-Your Secret Gift Giver _

_P.S Sorry about having to participate in this. _

Judging on the note alone, it eliminated the chances of her gift giver being Flash, or Batman. Based on the way it was written, she doubted it was Diana. But it could be. She shrugged, and opened the box.

A book on world culture sat inside. She arched an eyebrow. Probably not J'onn.

"Wow. A book. Yippee." She shrugged, dumped it back onto the chair, then went to finish drying her damp hair.

-=-=-

John walked inside his room, anxiety burning in his stomach. What if Hawkgirl had chosen him? He sat on his bed, the box on his lap. The chance was slight- but possible. He opened the envelope taped to the paper, and read the words softly under his breath,

_To The Green Lantern,_

_It is my hope that this gift will, perhaps, motivate you to do as you wish._

_-Your Secret Gift Giver_

Puzzled, John opened the gift. Inside was a small doll. He smirked as he lifted it. He squeezed the stomach, and then-

_"Beware my Mace!" _The doll squeaked. He laughed.

=-=-=

Superman ripped the wrapping off, excited. First: the note.

_To Superman,_

_Here is your present. I hope you like it. _

_-Your Secret Gift Giver_

The gift was a small marble statue of, well, him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hm. I didn't expect that."

-=-=-=

J'onn smiled as he read the note. He had not read anyone's mind to figure out who had picked him. No. He would enjoy this, and he wouldn't cheat.

_To a great friend,_

_I hope you like this. You're a hard man to shop for, so hopefully your next gift will be more...er- christmassy. _

_Your Secret Gift Giver_

He opened the package, and beheld a huge whiff of cake. He rolled his eyes. Some game.

"Clark."

=-=-=-

Batman opened the box to get it over with, though he knew that he could just as easily _pretend _he opened it. Still...

_To A Bat We All Love,_

_I'll have fun having picked you. Good luck._

_- : ) Who Am I?_

_P.S For the Batmobile...Customized..._

The note creeped him out a little (having known the Joker), but he opened the lid of the box anyway. If he hadn't been quite so...prepared for surprise?...he would have gasped. Sitting at the bottom of the box was a bumper sticker.

**MY PET BAT WILL BITE YOUR HONOR STUDENT**

"Flash..." He muttered, gritting his teeth.

* * *

Oh, I can't wait for the next chapter! I've got big plans for Flash and his amazing gray socks!


	5. Chapter 5

You all hate me. Admit it. I never update, and, when I do, it's random stories that none of you care about. I apologize. I hope to make it up to you by actually updating.

Just in case you forgot...

J'onn-GL

Supes-J'onn

Flash-Di

Bats-Flash

Di-Supes

Shay- Bats

GL-Shay

BTW! I just wanted to say that a few reviewers were correct in their guesses about Flash and his amazing socks.

FLASH ROX UR SOX!

------

_I've got it._ Batman thought, as he stepped from his room, face pale. _I'm really screwed now_. Flash was his Secret Santa. And he hadn't been inconspicuous with his own gift to the speedster. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out who had picked Flash. He gulped. Then again...Flash was hardly a genius....

"BATS!" He spun. Then he glared. The Flash was heading towards him, grinning like an idiot.

"Flash." He stated evenly.

"Look what my S.G.G gave me!" Flash bragged. He pulled his hands out from behind his back...and allowed Batman to behold what he held. Two once-drab socks. One painted red, the other painted black. One with a lightening sign on it, and a small grin drawn with a marker on a pinkish break from the red, and one with a bat symbol, and a grin drawn on it as well. Two small triangles of black were at the tip of the black sock, while two yellow lightening bolts were near the tip of the red. "Aren't they super fantabulous?" Flash asked, grinning. "I call them Flash-Puppet, and Bats-Puppet."

"Creative." Batman grunted. _This isn't happening... _"Why is the _Bats_-Puppet _smiling_?" He hissed the word, while he pointed to the black puppet. Flash rolled his eyes. Even though Batman couldn't see his eyes...he could tell. He was just that good.

"That isn't the Bats-Puppet, silly-willy. That's the Flash-Puppet." Batman raised a cool eyebrow behind his own cowl.

"Oh." He turned swiftly, but Flash was quickly in front of him on the other side.

"Now that you mention it..." Flash murmured, eying the two sock puppets intensely. "Bats-Puppet _does _look more like a Flash-Puppet." Batman held in a sigh.

"Get out of my way."

"No prob," He said easily, grinning smugly as he stepped from Batman's path. Batman stalked away from the scary man in red. "Oh, and Bats!" Batman winced. Here was the threat- something bad...he was gonna get fish eggs...rotten ones. He could already smell them... "Thanks." He turned, but the Speedster was gone.

"Is that it?" He muttered aloud. He shrugged, deciding he'd get the repercussions for his gift in two days. He shuddered.

------------

Diana smiled as she saw Flash, and she tightened the strings near her shoulders. Flash's eyes found her, and he grinned.

"Nice cape, Princess."

"Thank you," She replied, smirking sweetly. He suddenly shoved socks in her face.

"Like them?" He asked eagerly. She nodded, gently pushing the socks out of her face. Now that her eyes were focused on them, she smiled sardonically.

"Nice."

"Yea. I got them from Bats."

"Really?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged.

"I think. They were a little less...colorful when I opened the box."

"And by a little?"

"They were gray."

"And the emblems?"

"Colored Paper I happen to have for no reason in my room." He replied. "Well. There is a reason, now, of course. To make sock puppets when I get gray socks for Christmas." Diana smiled sympathetically at him, then said,

"Not all gifts can be as nice as mine, I suppose." That got Flash going. He grinned.

"Yea. Must have taken a real genius to think of that one!" Diana smiled, and kissed his cheek.

"And a sweetheart." She walked away as he melted.

-----

Flash was still beaming from his meeting with Di when he saw Hawkgirl.

"Hey, Hawk-eye. How goes it? What'd Santa bring you?"

"A book." She replied, bored. "You?"

"Socks."

"Santa sucks." Flash gasped.

"Don't ever say such a thing! Besides, my Santas always grumpy."

"I see." She turned. "Socks?" He held up the puppets.

"I fixed them."

"So I see..." She paused, a mischievous smile growing. "And I assume they are from the Bat?"

"Your assumption would be correct," Flash replied, a smile already growing.

"And if I were to say that I had picked the aforementioned Bat to buy presents for..."

"Then I would say I have some wicked ideas!" Flash replied, grinning, seated in seconds in the chair in front of her.

"Lay them on me, Speedy."

----------

"What'd you get?" John asked. Superman shrugged.

"Bust. You?"

"Hawkgirl doll."

"Huh."

"Yea."

"CHRISTMAS ROCKS!!"

----------

J'onn entered the room after a nice, long meditation to find Hawkgirl and Flash...getting along? A quizzical expression found itself on his face.

"....Flash...Hawkgirl...?"

"Shh!" Flash whispered. "We're artists working on a masterpiece!" J'onn left quickly. He continued on into the Monitor room. Superman and John were sitting, bored, staring at the monitors with listless expressions on their faces.

"Good afternoon, Gentleman," The ever-polite martian greeted. John turned.

"Hi, J'onn. Get anything good?" Superman turned, trying to look nonchalant.

"Yea, did you?" J'onn smiled.

"Yes- a delicious cake..." Well, okay, he'd tossed it into the air lock, then blasted it into space the minute he saw it. Though Superman was known for saving the day, and J'onn would trust his life in his capable hands on the battlefield, a birthday party for Batman and his own birthday party had taught the green man to avoid the Man of Steel's cooking. The simple compliment- lie, whatever- made Superman beam.

"Oh. That's nice." He snickered, then turned his face away, giggling like a little kid who thinks he knows something no one else knows. J'onn smiled. Earthlings- and this included beings that had been raised on Earth- really were too easy to fool.

"I think I will go finish the last of it," He announced, turning from the proud Superman, and the knowing Green Lantern, and continuing down the hall. He passed Batman, whose thoughts were so loud, they practically echoed down the halls...

_It's okay...I just won't come when they give out the gifts...or ever again! After all...I'm a part-timer...I shouldn't have to do this...just in case...what can I get him so he won't retaliate? Um...he likes food.... _

J'onn smirked, deciding he didn't want to get too far into the Batman's mind. He continued, then saw Diana in the break room...flying with a cape.

"Whoosh!" She shouted, zipping around. Then she spotted J'onn, and crimson danced onto her cheeks. She landed gracefully. "Er-" She shrugged. "It's more fun with a cape."

"Agreed." J'onn replied. That was the reason he had added a cape to his costume, after all. She smiled at him, then continued to fly.

"I love Satan!" J'onn wondered whether he should correct her, then he shrugged.

"Me, too."

---------

I wrote this in, like, ten minutes, and finished at 3:28 on Friday night/ Saturday Morning. I felt guilty for never updating, so there you go. Sorry!

(sry also about the shortness of the chapter. Just so you know, I make a hollow promise that the next chapter will be longer!)

Too dead to edit properly, so sry for any mistakes. They shall, hopefully, be temporary. ;)

Next chap has their 2nd presents! =D


End file.
